I know it is my fault. It indeed is.

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
                                                            --- John Lennon

Truth is not discovered by proofs but by exploration.  It is
always experimental.
                         — Simone Weil, The New York Notebook, 1942

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.”    -Swami Vivekananda

He who confronts the paradoxical
exposes himself to reality.
                - Friedrick Durrenmatt (1962)

You are not your mind

Recommendation: Disable Java in Browser.

Why ?    Because serious vulnerability has been confirmed and fix from Oracle is yet to arrive 'shortly'.
             Read Report 
How to disable Java in Browser? Read

Best Way

"How it is" matters less, what matters more is "How do you see it".

“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring